I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
