dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
false alarm. still invincible.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
