I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
