As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize