if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
