took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize