..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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