addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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