i jhust puked up my retainher.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
