I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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