she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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