Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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