u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
