hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
