Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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