meet me or not, i'm out of control
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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