She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize