Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
