So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
