I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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