nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
