My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
