it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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