we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
