dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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