I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize