You're so nebulous sometimes
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
They have beer where we have blood.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
