wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
