So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
