the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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