wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
