Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
