I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
