I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize