I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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