she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
