i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
