That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
