Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
