He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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