508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
