her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
