I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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