Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
