I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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