I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
