I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
