Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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