and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
