he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
