Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
