i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
