Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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