He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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