Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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