p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
tell me about the fingering
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
