I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
