Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
