i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
