I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
