Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
