is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
