My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
