wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
