just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
