Screwed.edu
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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