if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
