Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
