She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
