nut hugger
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
